Friday, February 7, 2014


  I have two words for all those who dare judge Justin Bieber for his ongoing erratic behavior and recent troubles with the law: SHUT UP!

  I'm actually shocked that Canada's midget king is still alive, that none of his enemies are dead, and that he hasn't spent a single day in jail after five years of being one of the most famous people in the world. Most adults can't even claim that sort of track record after a few years of fame. Put yourselves in Bieber's shoes. Can you? I mean, do you even remember what it was like to be 17, 18 or even 19? I do, and it wasn't pretty. In fact, this kid makes me look like the devil incarnate himself as I look back to those days. Aside from age, there are some fundamental differences between myself at 19 and JB at 19. And these are very important to note:
  • I wasn't famous. 
  • I, nor any of my friends, had any money.
  • I didn't even have a job.
  • I still lived at home with my parents.
  • I wasn't a sex symbol.
  Those differences aside, there are two things he and I did happen to share at age 19 - we both played music and we both have/had a giant ego. (**off topic dating tip to all females who love guys in bands: musicians are assholes, especially young dudes**) While JB's ego is a result of millions of fans, dollars and an unlimited amount of girls who want to have sex with him, my ego was just simply the result of being born with some intelligence, mediocre musical talent and parents who loved and backed me up even when I was wrong. The result was a nightmare. I was the epitome of bad idea jeans. I drank to excess. I did copious amounts of drugs (and half the time I didn't know what drug some random person put into my hand). I cheated on all my girlfriends. I habitually broke the law. And I constantly got into fist fights with anyone who dared challenge me. In my mind I was a god and I had no respect for anyone whatsoever. I wasn't an anomaly. In fact, most of the people I knew at that age were nightmares.

  I'll tell you right now, if I had 1/10th of what JB has you can bet people would have been dead. I was a genuine prick when I was young and I would have paid nicely to see people I didn't like suffer for a good laugh. That being said, I would have probably become the first casualty of my own success. I would have drowned myself in a sea of booze and I most certainly would have formed an incapacitating drug habit. The only reason I didn't get consumed with drugs when I was younger was that, although I didn't have much money, the idea of throwing the little money I did have down the drain for a quick high never sat right with me - a side-effect of being the child of immigrants I suppose. Being broke totally saved my life (and the lives of others - enemies or otherwise). Disposable dollars would have been death. That I'm sure.

  You know the latest story of how pilots aboard JB's private jet had to wear oxygen masks and lock the cockpit door because he and his entourage wouldn't stop smoking pot and accosting the flight crew? If that was me in that situation back then, I would have broken down the cockpit door with something - anything - and forced myself onto the controls. You know why? Because I thought I was God and it would have been a hilarious thing to do. Also, I'm kind of a sadomasochist and super stubborn. I would have flown that plane straight into the ground just to try to prove that we wouldn't die. And even if some of us did get hurt or die, I would have still been satisfied. I was an idiot back then and I totally remember how I used to think about things ... because, truth be told, I still kind of think like that. The only differences now are that I realize I'm not a god nor am I invincible. Most of all, I've actually learned to love and respect others. Man, 19-year-old me would have absolutely hated what I ultimately became.

  So for a 19-year-old multi-millionaire, Justin Beiber ain't doing too bad.

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