Sunday, February 9, 2014

R-awwwwwwwww-B FORD

  Rob Ford. 

 Have two words ever elicited such a strong negative reaction from Torontonians? Probably not, considering that this is a city full of hipsters more concerned with their "fixies" and avoiding eye contact with strangers than with actually voicing their discontent about something as intimidating (*gulp*) as city politics.

  Yes, there are a great many things to dislike about Toronto's mayor. He's a crack smoking, homophobic, foul-mouthed alcoholic, and all-around vile beast. In most cities around the world, just one of those adjectives would have been grounds enough for termination or at least elicit a dishonorable resignation. But not in Toronto. In many ways, the Rob Ford effect will affect real change as the city is forced to review the existing rules which prevent us from impeaching such an elected official. Though, that's another topic for another time.

  Sure, it's been nice to see the entire downtown core come together to hate on a mayor who has been one-part farce and one-part performance art. But maybe it's time we tried to see another side of Rob Ford - the cute side. After all, he's not going anywhere for at least another nine months.

  Here are seven adorably perfect moments frozen in time that best exemplify the cuddly doughboy they call Rob Ford:

That time he had to hold his sippy cup with two hands at a council meeting. (It must be noted that this happens often).

Bonus cute points for the milk moustache!

Two handing not just sippy cups, but pretty much anything. In this case, a glass stein full of ice? Awwwwww!

And when he's exerted himself too much from holding drinks, he opts for something far less physically taxing: a straw. Adorbs!

Oh, look at this. The mayor's being tickled by budget chief Frank Di Giorgio. Look at the glee in the jolly fat man's face. Soooooo cute.

Remember that time Rob Ford dressed up as a bellicose Canon Doll for the COC's performance of The Nutcracker? If this image doesn't make your heart melt, I don't know what will.

This photo makes me both happy and sad. There he is in the background, looking all dejected and left out. I mean, what sort of monster would leave Rob Ford off their Red Rover team? Everyone gets to have fun but our mayor. It's NOT FAIR. This photo fills me with an insatiable need to hold him, brush his little blond eyebrows and tell him that everything will be OK.

OK. This isn't really a photo of Rob Ford. That being said, whoever tatted the mayor smoking crack on their arm is really giving that girl with the "Drake" tattoo across her forehead a run for her money.

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