3 REASONS WHY DRAKE ISN'T HARDCORE

  I've never really been a fan of hip hop. Though, I've found that chicks LOVE hip hop beats. Even more, chicks LOVE to have sex to hip hop beats. Because of this, I've always had a Run DMC album in my CD player just in case I needed some added ambience for when I'm about to do my business with some babe. Throughout the years I've come to realize that Run DMC isn't the kind of "hip hop" chicks like to have to sex to.
  Anyway, as I've floundered to find a replaceable hip hop sex soundtrack I discovered Drake. First off, how the fuck did this nerd rise up the ranks to become one of the posterboys for hip hop? Second, how the fuck did this guy fool everyone into thinking he's hardcore? Note photo (above).
  So, to enlighten you all, here are 3 REASONS WHY DRAKE ISN'T HARDCORE:

1) Drake grew up in North York NOT Toronto. That's like someone from New Jersey telling you they grew up in New York City.
2) Drake is Jewish. And not the cool kind of Jewish either.  Unless you're in the IDF dealing with some Arab extremist motherfuckers carrying AK47s or blowing shit up with bomb vests, you ain't hardcore.
3) Drake is Canadian. Do I have to explain why this isn't hardcore?