REMEMBRANCE WEEK

  I've never really understood why only one day out of the year is dedicated to soldiers who served in WWI. Although it officially marks the end of WWI (on November 11th, 1918), I think much more should be made of it. As the last of the soldiers of WWI disappear (I think there is only one soldier from the Great War still living in Canada), Remembrance Day's significance has begun to shift to remembering fallen soldiers in WWII. Specifically, Remembrance Day has shifted toward an emphasis on D-Day. The reasoning behind this is probably due to the fact that all Allied countries were represented on some level during this mission (though, the US media in particular tend to focus on D-Day due to the fact that it was pretty much the only meaningful contribution the US made in the European theatre of war during WWII). 

  Regardless, I think it's a great thing. But I also think this "day" should become an entire week of remembrance. Hundreds of millions of people (soldiers and civilians) have died in various wars in the past 100 years. Over 60 million people died in WWII alone, so dedicating an entire week of events and various ceremonies makes far more sense than one day. A week would really put an emphasis on the dedication and sacrifice of not just soldiers who served but civilian casualties caught in the crossfire of war.

  So, talk to your local MP, congressman or others in positions of political power to make this change happen and honour our fallen soldiers and civilians in a much more meaningful way.

MOVEMBER SPAWNED A MONSTER

#10 - ODDJOB

  I give points to Oddjob for the mere fact that he annoyed the fuck out of James Bond throughout "GoldFinger" and that he didn't further perpetuate the notion that Asians only look good wearing fu manchus.

#9 - GEORGE PARROS

  The NHL enforcer/star not only made the league look tough again, but he started to make us forget about those ridiculous mullets Eastern Europeans brought over in the early 1990s.

#8 - GERALDO RIVERA

  Geraldo would have made it higher up on in the list if he wasn't such a douchebag and if he didn't work for Fox News. That being said, Geraldo's 'stache is classic. It should be bronzed when he dies.

#7 - HULK HOGAN

  What can you say about Hulk's handlebar 'stache? It's about as American as being gunned down in a public place and about as recognizable as Ron Jeremy's penis.

#6 - SALVADOR DALI

  Mr. Dali's 'stache was more of a piece of art than anything else. It's certainly not the kind of thing you go riding on a motorcycle with. And it most definitely is not the type of 'stache you'd hope to intimidate someone with.

  Though, if you want to get yourself beaten up really quickly, this is the moustache to get that point across.

#5 - GOOSE GOSSAGE

  Goose pitched for the New York Yankees for a number of years. Long before Steinbrenner made Don Mattingly shave off his famous mutton chops. This 'stache clearly says to the world that he loves to get drunk, fight and fuck whatever girl he decides is his for the night.

#4 - LANNY MACDONALD

  The Lanny is as wild as a night out in Nunavut with your friends, two polar bears and a 40 ounce bottle of Native moonshine. It's not the intimidating sort of 'stache that it could be, but it does make you second-guess yourself and your ideas about life.

#3 - ROLLIE FINGERS
  This is a perfectly quaffed 'stache that could be functional in an array of different situations. It's cowboy, yet French class all rolled into one.

  Rollie could go get wasted in a Houston dive bar one day and accompany the Queen of Sweden to a gala the next. It's tough and tuxedo friendly all at once. And that's a very rare combo indeed. Extra points for being named Rollie Fingers.

#2 - CHARLIE CHAPLIN
  Hitler ruined this 'stache for everyone.
  That sucks because this compact and simple moustache rocks.

#1 - TOM SELLECK
  The Selleck. 'nuff said.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

BURT REYNOLDS
  Burt would have made the list, if not for the fact that he's kinda like the poor man's Tom Selleck.

COLONEL SANDERS
  How amazing is this look?
  It didn't make the list simply for the fact that the 'stache doesn't stand alone without the chin strip.

Top 10 HOTTEST WOMEN CURRENTLY IN PRISON

#1
Meet Amy.
She's 36 and daaaaaamn is she sexy. Those legs would wrap around your neck like a grizzly bear's forearms and choke you the fuck to death in less than 10 seconds flat.
But you'll like it.
Then she'll beat the shit out of your warm corpse and take her tits out and wag them in your dead face and laugh. You probably won't mind that too much either. Ever more, you won't give a shit when she ends the night by cleaning out your wallet while you lay on the bed all rigor mortising and shit.
Nice.
You'll have to wait until June 27, 2013 to have any of these experiences, though.
That's the year she's finally released from her Las Vegas prison cell.



#2
Here we have Jenny.
She's 24 and currently serving out the last few months of her prison sentence in North Carolina.
Look at those eyes. Crazy, right? But it's a different kind of crazy than the one you men are probably used to. Unlike most girls who get all dramatic and shit when you come home late from the bar, Amy will probably burn your fucking house down and then murder you. I dunno what it is, but there's something hot about that.
(Bonus points to Jenny for wearing a bra in her profile picture!)

#3
Meet Maeghan and her fabulous 20-year-old titties. What the fuck is it with 20 year olds and their tight bodies? I mean, look at that skin.
It's absolutely perfect.
She's like a painting.
Don't let her unblemished skin, perfect smile and C-cups fool you, guys. This one's in the sin bin for 2nd degree murder, so you'll have to put up with conjugal visits only for the next eight years.
But that seems to be more of a positive than a negative, no?

#4
Caitlin, 21, is a Jill of all trades: hairstylist, piercing artist, and criminal. Though, the only vocation I really give a shit about is the exotic dancing she lists as "career" before her incarceration. She's a smart, good girl who just happened to get caught up with the wrong people.
I'd be her bad influence any day of the week!

#5
Have you ever heard the term "arresting blue eyes"?
I assure you, the irony of this sentiment is not lost on 23-year-old Ana.
She's due for release from her Las Vegas prison digs sometime in 2014.
Nicknames: "Hollywood" or "Vogue"

#6
I gave SERIOUS thought to making Jennifer my #1 pick on this list, merely for the fact that she's dressed up like a fucking prison guard in her profile pick. How fucking cool is that?
Seriously.
At 39, she'd give any 19-year-old chick a run for her money.
Only six months away from her Nashiville prison release, fellas.
Turn-ons: Men with grey hair.

#7
Jillian is 31 and if the tattoo on her forearm is any indicator of what you're getting into by dating her, then be ready.
(Note: it reads "Beautiful Disaster").
She loves to travel, though I don't think she'll be going any further than the prison yard for the next two years. If you're hoping for some face time fellas, then you're shit-outta-luck for the next six months.
Though, that's subject to change when her visitation rights come up for review in six months.
Turn-ons: Airshows and rollercoasters.

#8
Anna, 28, seems like the kind of woman you'd love to bring home to meet your parents. Though, that opportunity won't be available until at least 2014.
She looks innocent enough, but there's something slightly evil behind her gaze that screams "I'll cut you" if you dare cross her.
Hot.

#9
Claudia fits the bill for what every guy loves about a part-Cuban, part-El Salvadorian chick: Beautiful face, passionate lover, great body and fucking bat shit "I'm-gonna-cut-your-dick-off-and-feed-it-to-you" crazy.
Only 30, Claudia has quite a few more years left to steal hearts and the balance of your bank account.
Release date: June 2013.

#10
Cynthia, 37, is a former fetish model, actress and makeup artist.
Though, she had me at fetish model.
She has just six months left at the bad girls club in California. She calls her stint in prison a "bump in the road" and she's open to suggestions about where her life takes her post-incarceration.
The romantic in you should be interested to know that Cynthia is released on Valentine's Day next year!






All photos and information for this TOP 10 were taken from www.meet-an-inmate.com

THAT DUDE FROM "SEVEN"

  Usually, I'm very reluctant to take the piss out of anybody. Unless, of course, they take themselves way too seriously. Case in point; the following advert from Chanel No.5, starring Angelina Jolie's better half.

I almost shit my pants out of anger and it's prompted me to write an open letter to Mr. Pitt ...

  Dear Bradley Ulysses Pitt;

  WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT? This sort of pretension in advertising is left to sports stars who are too 'roided up to know any better. Dude, you starred in "Seven". "SEVEN", dude. You played the husband of Gwynneth Paltrow BEFORE she actually got married to that whiney bedwetter from Coldplay. Have you ever heard a Coldplay song? Dude, they make Nickelback look HARD! Anyway, "Seven" ruled. What is wrong with you? Get your beautiful face out of Angelina's cold, hard tits for one second and listen to me: You are peddling perfume, dude. PERFUME. Stop being such a twat and write the sequel to Moneyball already, will you.