OUTFOXED BY MULDER

  I've never really been one to have a crush on celebrities before. In fact, I can name only two celebrity crushes that I've had in my entire 30+ years of life. My first crush happened when I was about six years old as I was watching an episode of Toronto Rocks on CityTV (this show ran in the '80s before MuchMusic was a thing). I used to run home from school every time this show would air.

  On this particular day they played a video by Olivia Newton John. From the first moment she appeared on the boob tube in my kitchen wearing that spandex, neon outfit, she had my heart! She was the perfect woman to me. She was beautiful, stylish, blonde, yet completely unobtainable - you know, being that she was famous and 20 years older than me. 

  I think I cried in my room for two days when I realized this.
  It was my first real heartbreak.

  My second celebrity crush occurred as teenager when I became obsessed with The X Files. Gillian Anderson had slowly fought her way into my heart while wearing those cute little power suits with that FBI badge that adorably hung from her left lapel that identified herself as "Dana Scully". She was beautiful, pragmatic, mothering and a little bit difficult. She had red hair, too, which showed that I had matured in some way and it signalled that I had moved on from blondes.

  In the summer of 1994 I decided to do what I'd never done before - and never have again. I picked up a pen and I wrote Gillian Anderson a letter and told her how much I admired her and that I had a bit of a crush on her. I never expected her to reciprocate my feelings, but at the very least I figured that I'd get some sort of response from her.

  A few weeks later a package arrived with the return address of 20th Century Fox in California. Could this have been what I was waiting for? Could this have been a special response from Dana Scully herself???

  I ran upstairs with the coveted package in hand and slammed my bedroom door shut as I sat down on my bunk bed. Feverishly, but with the precision of a brain surgeon, i opened the package. 

  Instead of Dana Scully, I actually received a signed photo of David Duchovny as Fox Mulder that read, "Christian - Thanks for watching - David Duchovny". Enclosed was a letter from his assistant that read, "David thought you'd like his autograph better". 

  I remember being super disappointed and sad. It took me some time to realize how cool this was, though. Fox Mulder actually pranked me. Out-foxed, as it were. It may not have been immediate, but Mr. Duchovny won me over that day. The original signed photo is below.