Wednesday, October 10, 2012


  I wish I'd discovered Prague 10 years earlier than I did when I moved there. It is easily the most breathtaking city I've ever come across. It’s visually overwhelming, cheap and full of babes. I lived in Prague for almost three years and I never stopped looking wide-eyed at the city while I rode in to work every morning on the tram.
  Before moving to Prague, my Swedish friend Martin, who often visited the city, told me this: “Prague is like living in a museum.” One sentence summed up my life in Prague exactly. I realized then that Swedish people are fucking smart.
  It sometimes makes me sad to think about what could have become of Prague had it not been invaded by the Russians in the late ’60s. I can only imagine that it would have become a cosmopolitan city with a thriving fashion and art scene — something like Central Europe’s version of Paris. Unfortunately, the Russians did invade and Prague has become what it has become.
  Fashion is pretty much non-existent and exactly what you’d expect. The "I-will-have-sex-with-you-in-your-car-for-$10"  look is the ‘it’ thing right now. As it has been for a while. As a man, I can’t really complain about short skirts, knee-high boots and big tits tightly packed into much-too-small tank tops. As a dedicated follower of fashion, the city leaves me depressed. The man, though, in me usually wins the debate.
  Although being an old city, it has all the hallmarks of youth. It almost seemed as if communism stunted the city’s growth and when the Russians finally left in 1989 the city was left wondering what to do next. Even today, I think it’s a very accurate statement to say that the city is stuck in 1991. How else can you explain Czechs’ love of Bruce Willis, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and (gulp) Steven Segal. That being said, there is a certain irony in knowing that Prague's population is the oldest age average in all of Europe.
  Of course, all of this is forgiven because the city is visually heart-stopping and dirt cheap. It also helps that in Prague, and the Czech Republic as a whole, the beer flows like wine.
  Before I came to Prague I was quite convinced English would be more prevalent considering the amount of tourists packing the city year-round. Not so, of course. You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone over the age of 30 speaking English, and even if you do find someone, their English is terrible. I have, though, found that women are far more likely to speak English. Though, I chalk this up to Czech women having a hell-bent desire to marry foreigners in a bid to avoid marrying anyone resembling their asshole Czech fathers.
  Must-sees in Prague include an off-the-beaten jaunt to Vyšehrad (Prague’s other castle). It’s a very romantic setting overlooking the Vltava river and it doesn’t hurt that tourists here are scarce. I also recommend setting a day aside for the Prague Zoo. Nestled into the side of one of Prague’s many hills, the zoo is one of the more interesting ones I’ve ever visited. It almost didn’t feel like a zoo (if that makes any sense) and it felt very interactive. Walking around the grounds didn’t seem as laborious as most zoos, mostly because there was so much to see (aside from animals).
  The last thing to do is walk across Charles Bridge — from the Old Town side — towards Prague Castle. Do this at night. Stop and stand off to the right, and look out across the Vltava to take in the Little Quarter and the awe-inspiring and precariously perched Prague Castle. Complete the walk by ascending the Prague castle steps. It’s a hard walk, but well worth it once you reach the top and look out at Prague’s clay rooftops.

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