Thursday, October 11, 2012


  The main problem with Paris is that it's filled with far too many French people. It could be worse, though. France could be Quebec.
  That being said, I must admit that I’ve fought the lure of Paris for many years. It’s like that movie everyone tells you is great but you don’t want to see because you’re sure that all the people who told you are full of shit.
  The city is huge, beautiful, ridiculously expensive and filled with beautiful people. And as you'd expect, fashion rules. Walking down any of Paris’ winding streets you come to realize why it is the fashion hub of the world. Though, you get a sense that no one really gives a shit about what you're wearing because in Paris anything goes.
  Like all things in Europe, visiting certain cities can be quite a comedic experience as certain stereotypes come to fruition. For one, French people are, indeed, rude and impatient. Moreover, French people HATE English and they hate hearing it spoken on their streets.
One thing you'll have to understand about French people, and not Parisiens in particular, is that they love talking about how awesome their language is. This is, one of many reasons, why everyone hates the French.
  I found the Arab youth in Paris to be quite confrontational and annoying. I remember being surrounded by about 10 of them in the metro and being laughed at. Maybe it was my ’70s mullet and moose knuckle (my balls are huge by the way) that caused the ire. Doesn’t really matter I suppose.
  Everyone says Paris is romantic. But I'm sure some bored American housewife who's never stepped on a plane in her life invented that catchphrase after having watched "Irreversible" for the first time. (Note: For normal people not living in the backwoods of the American Mid-West, rape is not romance).
   So then ... what do I recommend in Paris? Walk. Well, the obvious choice is the Eiffel Tower. Although it is perhaps the most recognized Parisian symbol of all that is tourist it is still a sight to behold. One must also take a walk down the Champs de Elysses toward the Arc de Triomphe.
  Roaming is wonderful, but at some point you will no longer be able to avoid the Paris underground. I’ve always been told about, and experienced first-hand, the complex undergrounds of London and Berlin, but what everyone failed to tell me was how confusing the one in Paris is. Simply buying a ticket to board was difficult because I couldn’t find a single “Information” kiosk that could give me any information in English. Also, none of the ticket machines had English as a language option.
  I had to dig deep and attempt to recall all those silly French classes I was forced to take in grade school (strangely, I remember my French teacher in grade school telling me I’d need it one day. Much like my calculus teacher, I thought she was full of shit).
  French lessons aside, Paris is still a must-see.

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